The other day my wife and I were driving to her parent’s house when she asked me why didn’t Jesus address physical abuse when he addressed divorce? It is a great question. I was a police officer for only five years, and I saw a lot of broken marriages in which both men and women lived in a relationship centered around abuse. Why would Jesus only allow for a spouse’s unfaithfulness as the only justifiable argument for divorce? We drove for probably another twenty minutes before I was pulled out of my thoughts on the question by another question, “did you hear what I said? Are you even listening to me?” I smiled because I had gone inside my own thoughts and had lost track of what was going on around me, but it was a question where the answer was not readily available.
But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.
Matthew 5:31-32
Jesus says in Matthew, “It was also said, ’Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.’ But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery (Mat 5:31-32).” This is often interpreted as meaning that the only way out of the covenant of marriage is in the case of infidelity.
This quote is pulled right out of the center of what is known as the Sermon on the Mount. If we were to outline that sermon it could look something like this…
- The Beatitudes
- Salt and Light
- Christ came to fulfill The Law
- The Law Refined (Real Transgression)
- Anger
- Lust
- Divorce
- Oaths
- Retaliation
- How to do The Law Right
- Love Your Enemies
- Give to the Needy
- The Lord’s Prayer
- Fasting
- Lay up Treasures in Heaven
- Do Not be Anxious
- Judging Others
- Ask and It will be Given
- The Golden Rule
- A Tree and It’s Fruit
- I Never Knew You
- Build Your House On the Rock
“For I tell you, unless your righteousness exceeds that of the scribes and Pharisees, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.”
Matthew 5:20
You will notice right away that it is a complex sermon. It is a long sermon to say the least and books have been written on what is found in its context. For today it is enough to know that this sermon was never meant to be the giving of a new law rather it was meant as discussion on how The Law of Moses was to be understood and the Messiah’s relationship to The Law. The first section including the Beatitudes and Salt and Light were intended to communicate that the doctrines’ of God would be given to the humble and that the humble would become the salt and light in which those doctrines would be shared. In the third section Jesus teaches that He, as the Messiah, has not come to abolish The Law but rather to fulfill The Law. I love Adam Clarke’s description on this concept. “Christ completed the law: 1st. In itself, it was only the shadow, the typical representation, of good things to come; and [Jesus] added to it that which was necessary to make it perfect, his own sacrifice, without which it could neither satisfy God, nor sanctify men (Clarke 1810-1826, Mat 5:17).” The Law teaches that apart from righteousness a sacrifice is required.
Jesus then transitions into a discussion on the nature of righteousness, “For I tell you, unless your righteousness exceeds that of the scribes and Pharisees, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. (Mat 5:20).” Here is where Jesus begins to speak specifically to and about the Pharisees. It is this teaching that Jesus comments on divorce are intended to address.
The Pharisees thought that they were righteous. They believed that the sins that Israel was being punished for were the sins of their father’s and grandfather’s; not their own. The proverb of Ezekiel’s time that, ‘The fathers have eaten sour grapes, and the children’s teeth are set on edge (Eze 18:2)’ was an allegation against God made by the Israelites of Ezekiel’s time and the Israelites of Jesus’ time. Think of eating sour grapes like eating a sour patch kid. That first initial overpowering sour causes you to react by breathing in through clenched teeth. The idea is that someone else has eaten the sour patch kid and you are breathing in through the clenched teeth. You are reaping the reward for someone else’s actions. Jesus’ teaching here, using anger, lust, divorce, oaths, and retaliation, all sins for which the Pharisees were guilty, are illustrating that these Pharisees are not righteous enough to inherit the Kingdom of God.
The idea of a certificate of divorce, that the Pharisees were clinging to for their righteousness, comes from Deuteronomy. “When a man takes a wife and marries her, if then she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some indecency in her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce… then her former husband, who sent her away, may not take her again to be his wife, after she has been defiled, for that is an abomination before the LORD (Deu 24:1-4).” The Pharisees interpreted from this passage that Moses allowed divorce when the wife lost favor with her husband or was somehow indecent. According to David Stern Hillel and Shammai, contemporaries of Jesus, represent the poles of the contemporary argument. “The School of Shammai say a man may not divorce his wife unless he has found unchastity in her, as it is said, ‘…because he has found in her indecency in a matter.’ But the School of Hillel say he may divorce her even if she burns his food, as it is said, ‘… because he has found in her indecency in a matter (Mishna: Gittin 9:10).’”
This Hillel loophole was a broad loophole indeed but that was their interpretation of The Law and if they obeyed it their righteousness could be retained. It was primarily a loophole to keep a wife in line or to trade in on a newer model.
“Without God’s sacrifice The Law could not satisfy God nor sanctify men.”
Jesus response to this loophole is that, “everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery (Mat 5:32).” This is a statement about the righteousness of the Pharisees. They were divorcing their wives and were responsible for the adultery that they caused. That responsibility made them unrighteous. The only reason the wife’s adultery changes anything about the nature of divorce is that the adultery was not caused by the Pharisees. Don’t worry Jesus addresses the Pharisees who were not guilty in this case in the cases of Anger, lust, oaths, and retaliation.
Adam Clarke concluded his understanding of the fulfillment of The Law in that The Law pointed to the necessity of an atoning sacrifice. Without God’s sacrifice The Law could not satisfy God nor sanctify men. The Pharisees too needed that sacrifice and Jesus’ comments on divorce were to highlight that issue. Jesus was not establishing a new law regarding what was an acceptable divorce and an unacceptable divorce. Jesus was teaching that the Pharisees too were unrighteous.
So where does that leave us on divorce? “Is it lawful to divorce one’s wife for any cause (Mat 19:3)?” Jesus points out that they should already know the answer to this question.
“Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So, they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate (Mat 19:4-6).” Righteous husbands do not divorce their wives. Righteous wives do not divorce their husbands. Divorce is in fact a sin that defiles just as any other sin.
“What we know today that the Pharisees didn’t know is that Jesus died as the perfect sacrifice for the consequences of our sins.”
The prophet Malachi puts it very crisply, “…the LORD was witness between you and the wife of your youth, to whom you have been faithless, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant. Did he not make them one, with a portion of the Spirit in their union?… So guard yourselves in your spirit, and let none of you be faithless to the wife of your youth. “For the man who does not love his wife but divorces her, says the LORD, the God of Israel, covers his garment with violence, says the LORD of hosts. So, guard yourselves in your spirit, and do not be faithless (Mal 2:14-16).” At the center of divorce is a violation of a promise. A righteous person endeavors to honor the commitments that he or she has made. A violation of that commitment is the equivalence of an act of violence. That is still true today.
“Do you believe that your sins are forgiven?”
What we know today that the Pharisees didn’t know is that Jesus died as the perfect sacrifice for the consequences of our sins. And we all need that sacrifice, even the Pharisees. When you accepted Him, you are accepting that His punishment was for your sins. Do you believe that? Do you believe that your sins are forgiven? Do you believe that your spouse’s sins have been forgiven? Often, I think this is the harder part. Jonah’s refusal to offer repentance to the Ninevites came from his own desire to see them punished. He knew if he offered repentance to the Ninevites, they would accept, and Jonah’s god would offer His mercy. Have you offered that forgiveness to your spouse? What about the children of divorce? They are injured just as much as the spouses of divorce. Are you a child of divorce? Have you offered forgiveness to your parents?
If you are in an abusive marriage, get out as soon as you can! You are not responsible for those sins. Is your spouse unfaithful? You are not responsible for those sins. But remember, Jesus died for those sins too, you can protect yourself and extend that forgiveness at the same time. Are you being unfaithful to your spouse? Accept Jesus’ forgiveness and repent! Are you abusing your spouse? Accept Jesus’ forgiveness and repent! Is your life a product of divorce? Extend the forgiveness of Jesus! Whether or not it is accepted and whether or not they repent is between them and God.
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Photo by Zoriana Stakhniv on Unsplash.
Clarke, Adam. The Holy Bible with a Commentary and Critical Notes. New Edition. Vol. I–VI. Bellingham, WA: Faithlife Corporation, 2014. Find this resource in the Faith, Hope, Love (Life) Store